Forgiveness really is a process. Although you may have experienced hurt during one event, forgiveness is rarely a one-event thing. It takes time and there are definite steps you can take that will help you get to the point of full forgiveness if you will follow them.

There are six steps in the process of forgiving someone who has wronged you. It takes time to go through all of the steps. How long the full process will take varies with each person and depends on the depth of the hurt, your willingness to take the steps and other factors. Don’t feel like you must progress at a certain pace, just keep moving forward.

The first step in the process of forgiveness is to be willing to obey God who commands us to forgive. In Matthew 6:14-15, Jesus says, “For if you forgive men their trespasses, your heavenly Father will also forgive you. But if you do not forgive men their trespasses, neither will your Father forgive your trespasses.”

Jesus says that our forgiveness from God is conditional - we have to forgive others to get it! Since we all have done wrong things, we all need God’s forgiveness. Through Jesus Christ, God forgave us a debt we could never repay.

The second step in the process is to make a decision to forgive. Forgiveness is a decision, not a feeling. The third step is to release your negative emotions in a positive way, such as journaling, exercise or counseling.

We become free when we forgive! There is a saying, “Unforgiveness puts you in jail for a crime you didn’t commit.” Another one says, “Unforgiveness is like drinking poison and expecting someone else to die.” The point is that when you don’t forgive, you become emotionally frozen in that point of pain. Will you decide to forgive?